For many Canadians, the holidays aren’t a magical time. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, 52 per cent of Canadians report feelings of anxiety, depression and isolation during the holiday season.

To cope with the feelings and added stress that come with this time of the year, here are some examples of how the holidays can be overwhelming and what you can do to protect your mental health.

1. (Too) great expectations

The image of the “perfect holiday” permeates mainstream culture. We know exactly how it’s supposed to go, we feel obligations and we compare ourselves to the ideal. Are we happy enough? Are we doing it right? 

Or perhaps, the holidays aren’t even part of your cultural tradition, but you feel pressure to celebrate them for fear of feeling excluded. Or, maybe they’re part of a tradition you reject. If so,

• Ignore judgments of “bah humbug” – you are not obliged to celebrate the holidays.
• Recognize if you feel oppressed by your own traditions. If you do, it’s time to take the space and reinvent. Maybe that means saying no (“I can’t come this year”,) or setting other boundaries (“I’m coming for dinner but I can’t stay the night”).
• Don’t be ruled by what’s gone on in the past. They’re your holidays and you can take them back.
  

2. Merriment to the max

Over-eating. Over-drinking. Over-spending. General over-indulgence. It seems the holidays go hand and hand with them. This compulsory consumerism and mandatory merriment can have a damaging effect on your mental health, especially if you struggle with personal finances or with substances. Consumption comes at a price that not everyone can afford. If so,

1. Know that you don’t have to buy things to show others that you care.
2. There are gift exchange ideas that cut down on consumerism, without skimping on generosity or giving. 
3. Offer the gift of mental health by making a donation to cmha.ca or another mental health organization in honour of someone. Or give to another cause you care about.
4. Stay on top of what you’re spending by budgeting. A budget template can help you do that.
   

3. Trying to be the “perfect host”

You may be hosting a gathering this year for the first (or fiftieth) time. Maybe you feel like it’s your job to please everyone and make sure others are having enough fun and enjoying their holidays. That’s a lot of pressure. If so,

• Delegate to others: if you feel it’s your job alone to make things perfect, you can ask others to help. It’s their holiday too!
• Take a break from hosting or retire altogether. Ask someone else to host this year.
• Head conflict off at the pass. If you know there are certain topics that will set people off, be kind and clear about boundaries and expectations. Put your ground rules in your invitation email or specify a time to talk things through in advance. Remember that if it’s your home or your event, you get to set the rules.

Discover more tips on how to cope with holiday stress and find mental health resources from the Canadian Mental Health Association by clicking here.